Better or Worse
by ladykatyhawk
Summary: "Batsy won't save you this time Birdbrain. Not this time." The team loses a member. The Batclan loses a brother. Batman loses a son. M because I'm paranoid.
1. Better or Worse

_My take on the missing part of Young Justice, where the team looses one of their own. Mainly inspired by the 'cover picture' which I found on Tumblr. Damn thing made me all teary eyed._

_AU for some parts, especially Batman. I think, honestly I'm not quite sure. But be warned._

_One-shot._

* * *

**Better or Worse**

"_Batsy won't save you this time Birdbrain. Not this time." Joker laughed as he plunged the crowbar into the side of the young man lying in front of him. The young man, more a kid, was only half conscious and blood was forming around him._

_Joker kicked him one last time. "It's been a pleasure birdbrain. Give the angels my regards!" and with that the clown disappeared. _

_He spat out blood, and turned around ever so slightly. And he saw it. _

_A bomb._

_He couldn't move, couldn't get away._

_But it was okay. Batman would save him. He would save Robin._

_..0.60_

_Robin had no doubt. _

_..0.45_

_He would burst through the doors any moment now._

_..0.30_

_He wished he'd never gone against Batman's orders._

_..0.25_

_Where are you?_

_..0.20_

_He should have stayed behind, waited for Nightwing or Batgir as Batman instructed._

_..0.10_

_He wouldn't make it? Batman wouldn't make it. Not this time. Joker's been right._

_..0.05_

_I'm sorry._

_..0.01_

"_So sorry.."_

_..0.00_

* * *

Nightwing and Batgirl stood in the briefing room of Mount Justice. The other members of the team were either training or relaxing. The two members of the batfamily were talking together while different criminals profiles were being pulled up.

Suddenly Nightwing's and Batgirls comlink went of. It got the attention of most in the room, since it wasn't the one used by either the League or the Team. It was the private bat link.

"Yeah?" the two bats listened for a few seconds, and then all blood seemed to vanish from the visible parts of their faces.

"We are coming."Batgirl was already on her way to the zeta tubes when Nightwing turned to Superboy. "Somethings come up in Gotham. You are in charged of until we return." Superboy nodded, not asking questions. It wouldn't help anything anyway if he did. They would never tell the team about the secrets of the bats.

Nightwing ran to the tubes, and his departure was announce.

"Where'd Nightwing go?" Garfield, Beast Boy, asked as he, M'gann and Cassie walked up to Connor.

"Gotham. Something came up."

"Aw man!" Beast Boy lamented, knowing there would be no training with their leader for the rest of the day. M'gann smiled, and put her hand on Garfields shoulder.

"You can train tomorrow." she looked at Connor. "Did he say what'd happened?"

Connor shaked his head. "No, and I didn't ask. Figured I wouldn't be told anything anyway."

"Then how about we find out? Maybe it's on the news!" Cassie chipped in, opening the computer and linking up to Gotham Central News.

* * *

_He was close, so close. He could se the building. Only a few more seconds._

_Only..._

_The building erupted in flames as the whole ting blew apart. Batman was knocked backwards by the blast, barely escaping the flying parts of the building. He grunted when a solid block of cement hit him, knocking the air out of him and breaking his armour. Dust and smoke filled his vision, pain clouding his thoughts for a momont. When he could finally see, the whole place was aflame. _

"_Jason!" he whispered before starting running forward._

"_JASON!"_

* * *

"_As you can see behind me, nothing is left from the storehouse. It is believed to be the work of the __Joker who escaped Arkham Asylum only a few days ago. Why the building was blown apart is so far unknown as nothing of value seemed to be stored here. Nonetheless witnesses claimed to have seen the Batman at the scene. He left shortly after, and the police have now.._"

The Team listened to the news reporter telling the story as they watched the burning building in the background. It looked like ground zero. Then again, if it were the work of Joker, it didn't really surprise them.  
"Think Nightwing and Batgirl teamed up with Batman and Robin to find Joker before he blew more buildings apart?" asked Bumblebee with her arms crossed.

"Maybe. But it does seem rather unusual for Batman call for help. Normally Nightwing would've picked up that bats needed help, this time Batman called him. And Batgirl."

A few minutes went by, until the Zeta tubes caught their attention.

"Regonized: Superman 0-1. Black Canary 0-8. Flash 0-4. Wonder Woman 0-3. Red Tornado 0-5. Martian Manhunter 0-6." the six members of the League entered the Cave, only to find all the members of the team waiting for them.

"what've happened?" asked Connor, watching Superman with unease. The man of steel rarely turned up at the cave unless it was something bad. The same thing for Wonder Woman and Flash. They were all busy protecting the world.

"Listen.." Black Canary began, then stopped unsure. "Something has happened."

"Does it have anything to do with this?" M'gann unmuted the transmission from Gotham. The leaguers shared a quick look. "Yeah." Flash answered, rubbing his neck nervously, his normally happy voice oddly flat.

Superman stepped forward. "Two days ago the Joker escaped from Arkham. Batman have been trying to locate him, and three hours ago he finally got something solid to go on. Batman ordered Robin to stay behind and wait for Batgirl to team up with him. And then he left." Superman ran a hand over his face, looking oddly tired and out of place. Not really comforting.

"Only Robin didn't stay behind. He went after Batman." The team shared a look. They all had their own uneasy feelings with the new Robin. He was talented, smart and worthy of the mantle left behind by the first Robin. But he was angry with a nasty temper. Nightwing and Batgirl could handle him, but he'd often gotten into fights, verbal and psychical, with his teammates.

"Robin didn't know that Batman had been called away on League business and had decided to leave Joker alone for tonight since he hadn't done anything yet." Black Canary put in. The leaguers paused, as if not sure where to go from there. Martian Manhunter stepped forward.

"Joker managed to capture Robin."

M'gann gasped and the rest of the team looked at each other, not liking where this was going.

"Joker held him for several hours, torturing him. We don't know how, but it seemed like Joker knew Batman found out what was going on and that he was on his way. So Joker left."

"Is Robin alright?" asked Garfield.

Superman shaked his head, looking down. Black Canary stepped in.  
"There is no easy way to tell you this. But the place Joker held Robin is the warehouse you've all seen on the broadcast." The team turned their head all as one, looking at the burning building.  
"No.." whispered Connor.

"When Joker left, he left behind a bomb. Robin never had a chance." Black Canary said gently.  
"Robin died in the explotion."

* * *

_Batman worked his way through the piles of burning building. He finally moved one last piece and sank to his knees, gently picking up the small body lying in front of him._

_There was blood everywhere. The uniform had been torn and most of the cape had burned away. _

_Robin's eyes were open. The desperation of his last moments still evident in them. The cold, _dead_ stare..  
Batman lowered his head, his arms shaking. _

"_No.." _

_Robin was dead. Jason was dead._

"_No no no no no.."_

* * *

The team watched the League with disbelief.

"What?" gasped Cassie, taking a step back. M'gann wrapped her arms around herself, unable to speak as the emotions from everybody around her exploded.

"Batman found the body, and brought it back to the batcave. I am sorry, but there's nothing to be done. He is gone."

"Batman.." Connor whispered, cleansing his fists. "Why didn't he save him?"

"There wasn't enough time." Superman answered gravely.

They were interrupted by a lod ringing noise from the computer. Flash speeded up, answering the call. From the Watchtower.

"You've been told?" asked Green Lantern, as all of the present heroes turned their attention to the screen. The tears in M'gann, Garfield and Cassie's eyes were answer enough.

"_I know this is very hard on all of you. But I just received a call from Nightwing. I need all of you to go to Gotham and help him and Batgirl locate Batman._"

The team and the Leaguers shared a confused look.

"Isn't he at the Batcave?" asked Wonder Woman.

Green Lantern shook his head. "_Nightwing said that he only dropped by with.._" he paused unsure.

"._. with Robin, leaving him to Agent A, before running off again._"  
"How can he do that? Robin is dead, how can he just leave.." began Garfield, but was cut of by M'gann who put a hand over his mouth.

"_He is after the Joker, and we need to find Batman before he finds him."_  
"Why? And why can't Nightwing and Batgirl? We are not allowed to go to Gotham." said Conner.

"_Hold on, I have an incoming call from Nightwing._"

"Team!" Nightwing's voice all but yelled through the computer. He sounded like he was running and they could here car noise in the background.

"And League!" answered Flash.

"I need you to get your butts to Gotham ASAP and help me and Batgirl locate Batman. He ditched his utilitybelt at the cave and we have no way of tracking him."

"Nightwing, wait, what is going on?" pleaded Wonder Woman, expressing the uneasy they all felt.

"Come to Gotham. Now. We need to find Batman before he finds the Joker and do something he'll regret!"

"Nightwing, this is Batman. He.." began Flash but was cut off.  
"Robin is DEAD!" Nightwing yelled, making everybody flinch. "If Batman gets his hands on Joker, then he'll kill him! Team, rendezvous at the top of Wayne Tower in exactly 2 minutes! Nightwing out."

The link went dead. Not that everybody heard that. The Zeta tubes had already announced their departure.

* * *

_He'd found him not long after. The Joker was laughing at him. But not for long._

"_It is time for you to **pay**."_

_The smile on the Jokers face froze a bit when the first blow hit him._

* * *

"_We've looked everywhere. There's no sign of either Batman or Joker_." Supermans voice echoed through the mental link.

They had divided up after meeting up with Batgirl on top of Wayne Tower. Nightwing was already on the move, leaving it to his co-bat to explain the situation.

She instructed them where to search. And which places you needed to go in as a group.

"Gotham is not safe, not even for superheroes." Batgirl stood with her back at the team, overlooking the city.

"You've been told this a million times, but there is a reason Batman don't want any of you here. So, while you search, it is at utmost importance that you maintain your cover. You must not interfere in _any_ crime! Find Batman, that is Nightwings orders! Let's go."

And then the searching began. So far with no luck. They had overlooked the whole city, but with no luck so far.

"_It's impossible to find Batman in Gotham!_" Beast Boy lamented through the psychic link when Flash, miss Martian, Martian Manhunter and Superboy met up, no luck either in their search for Batman.

"It's not easy. But perhaps the problem is that we are searching for Batman." Manhunter said, overlooking the city.

"It is all but impossible to try and locate Batman. At the best of times it is hard. But this is his city."

"_Guys, I have an idea._" Bumblebee's voice ran through their heads. She, Wonder Woman and Batgirl was running along the lines of Narrows.

"That's reassuring." Conner mumbled, earning him a mental slap over the head.

"_Shut it pretty boy! Batgirl, Wonder Woman and I agree, it is impossible to locate Batman. There is one thing I knows for sure and that is that Joker is never hard to find after he'd pulled one of his ...tricks._" her voice sounded bitter.

"We are looking for Joker now instead? What are Nightwings orders?"

"_He's out of range, but I think he'll agree. We don't have much of a choice on the matter._"

"_Guys_." Green Lantern's thoughts interrupted them. "_I've found the Joker._"

* * *

_"You.. still..wont..do..it?" Joker rasped, as he tried to raise him self from the ground._

_Batman stood several feet from him. The blood was dripping from his hands, Jokers blood. Jasons. His own. He turned and faced Joker, who actually stopped smiling when he saw the look in the bats eyes._

_Batman raised his fist, and crushed it into the Jokers temple. The clown sank to the ground, unconscious. _

"_Never."_

* * *

"So, now we have the Joker. What of Bats?" asked Flash.

They'd all arrived in the abandoned warehouse. They found Joker just as GL had found him. Beaten to pulp, wired to a construction pole, unconscious. And sat in a pool of his own blood, and looked like something that'd escaped from hell. But alive.

"He.. he murdered Robin." Batgirl whispered, staring at the Joker. "He actually did it." she was shaking, when Wonder Woman placed her hand on her shoulder.

"We'll turn him in to the authorities. No punishment can level out his crime, but that is all we can do."

"Any idea where Batman will go, now that he has refrained from killing Joker. By a hair, I agree. But he didn't do it." asked Flash.

"Nightwing might know it. He's known Batman for the longest."

"_There's no need guys_." Beast Boys voice suddenly sounded.

"_I've found him!_"

* * *

_He had failed._

_Again._

* * *

When they arrived at the location given to them by Beast Boy they also found Nightwing. He kept his distance on the rooftop overlooking a dark ally. Beast Boy, in bird form, sat on his shoulder.

He happily transformed when the others arrived.

"I found him M'gann! Of course, Nightwing also kinda did, but it was still me who.." M'gann smiled, and hugged her younger brother. "You did wonderful Gar."

Batgirl walked over to Nightwing. "How is he?" she asked quietly.

Nightwing signed. "Not good."

They could all see Batman from this spot. Which was actually the only spot they could stand in and be able to overlook the alley at the same time. No windows, not apartments, nothing turned out to this alley. Only closed, as in closed down, doors from an old theater and shops. It looked awful, the whole place leaked of despair.

Batman stood in the middle of the alley, unmoving. He looked at the ground, head bowed. He didn't even acknowledged their presence. He just.. stood there.

It was creppy as all hell.

"I'll go talk to him." said Wonder Woman, stepping forward only to be stopped by Nightwing.

"No." he said. " Let me."

Nightwing jumped gracefully from the building and landed without a sound.

"What is this place?" asked Superboy as they all watched Nightwing approach Batman.

"This place is known as Crime Alley." answered Martian Manhunter. "It's a place of tragedy."

* * *

_You failed me!_

_You failed us!_

_I did._

* * *

"Batman?" Nightwing asked, stepping out in front of Batman. The state the older man was in terrified him. Blood was dripping from him, being mixed up by the rain that had started to fall.

"I failed." the dark knights voice was nothing more than a whisper but it send shivers through Nightwings heart. It sounded so broken. He looked at the ground, and could faintly make out the markings made by the plastic paint on the pavement. The markings of two bodies.

_Oh no._

"You didn't fail Batman. You ordered Robin to stay behind, and he disobeyed." how it hurt to say those words. How many times hadn't he disobeyed Batman and barely escaping with his life.

"He was my responsibility. And I failed him." Batman, with his back to the watchers, slowly raised his hands and to the shock of all the members of the league and the team, he pulled off his cowl. He sank to his knees, hammering his hands into the ground. "_Again!_" he half screamed, half cried. He just sat there, in the rain, falling apart.

Nightwing was shocked. He'd never seen his mentor break down like this. And yet he realized, the sudden need to be strong for Batman was all that kept him from doing the same.

He bowed his head, and sank to his knees in front of his mentor. He gently removed the mask from his face, revealing his sad blue eyes.

"Perhaps it is time for Batman to resign."

Startled, Nightwing straightened himself. What was this? No, he couldn't. He wouldn't!

"Bruce, please." he whispered, his voice cracking from all the emotions threatening to tear him apart. "Please.. listen to me."

* * *

_I would never fail you._

_Not on purpose._

* * *

The eyes of the league and team members threatened to pop out of their sockets.

"Did he? Did we? Just what?" stammered Cassie, shaking herself free from her mentors solid grip on her shoulder.

M'gann was crying. The raw emotions flooding from Batman and Nightwing were overwhelming. The intense grief, the loss of a loved one. It physically hurt. She hugged herself, and felt Garfield reach for her hand.

"What is going on?" asked Bumblebee. She was worried, like many of the others. She didn't know much about the bats, but she did know that Batman was the incarnation of calmness and assholious behaviour. To see him break down, like this. It was.. she just couldn't believe what was going on. Did Robin's dead cause this violent reaction?

_Of course it did._

Superman and Martian Manhunter shared a look. They weren't exactly sure if the team or they for the matter was meant to see this. Batgirl saved them.

"This place.. something awful happened to Batman here. Many years ago. I think he is mixing it up with current events." she leaned forward, pain in her face.

"Is there nothing we can do?" asked Black Canary, concern on her face. Batgirl shaked her head.

"I can only think of one person who's capable of pulling Batman out of his own delusions. Nightwing knows the feeling." Batgirl ignored their shocked stares.

"They share it."

* * *

_Please let me help you._

* * *

"Bruce, please look at me." Nightwing wasn't really sure if he was crying or if it was the rain. But at last Bruce lifted his head and looked him dead in the eye.

"Please don't leave." whispered Nightwing, reaching out. "Gotham needs you. The League needs you." He layed his hands on the shoulders of his adopted father.

"I need you. Alfred needs you. You are all that I have. "

"I lost Jason. Dick, I lost your brother."

Dick _was_ crying. Unlike Bruce, he didn't have a hard time opening up to his emotions. He damned it all, and pulled the black crusader into a heart breaking embrace.

"You didn't loose him. Joker took him. There's a difference. We need you to keep him from taking anyone else." he whispered, wrapping his arms around his adoptive father and hugging him with all his strength. And, to his relief, he felt Bruce return the embrace.

"You can't quit Batman. The world needs him. But no one needs you more than me. And Barbara. Please just _stay_."

Bruce didn't answer, and Dick didn't say anything else. They just kneeled in the rain, clinging to each other in the unbearable grief.

* * *

_This pain is nothing compared to what I have already endured._

_I know. But you won't have to endure it alone anymore._

* * *

"I didn't know Batman was this.. human." whispered M'gann. The feelings were still overwhelming but tiny bits of comfort and hope had been mixed up with it, making it more tolerable.

They watched the two bats kneeling in the rain. None of them said anything. Batgirl looked worried, but remained silent.

It was finally Nightwing who pulled back, looking closely at his mentor. He narrowed his eyes.

"_Batgirl._" his voice rang through the heads of those connected to the psychic link. It sounded weak, but steady.

"_Receiving." _she answered, walking closer to the edge.

"_Batman is hurt. I guess from the explosion. Radio agent A, he should be standing by not far from here. Ask him to meet us here."_

"I could transport him. Or J'ohn could."offered Superman, looking at Batgirl who shaked her head.

"Nightwing wouldn't ask for agent A unless for a reason. He don't like bringing him in. Batman must be in need of medical attention." she walked a few feet away, talking through her communicator.

Another few minutes went by.

"Someone's coming." stated Flash, looking down the alley.

A black car, with no headlights drove slowly down the dark alley. It was hard to see, and as far as the league could see, it didn't have any registration plates. Also, it didn't quite look like a normal batmobile each of them noticed as the car came into view.

"That's agent A." Batgrl reassured.

The Team and the League stared at the car. It wasn't exactly the normal batmobile.

It was a Roles Royce. An elderly man emerged from the car, carrying a briefcase of what could be emergency kit. He wore all black, with a dark hat shadowing his face. He knelt by Nightwing and Batman, speaking lowly with Nightwing.

"_Is he hurt bad?"_ asked Batgirl as the unknown agent A withdrew an injection from the case.

"_He's been through worse. Agent A will patch him up back home, but he's lost a lot of blood due to a rather big wound in his side. He said he got hit by a wall and that is was nothing. The 'nothing' did however break his armour." _the league smiled a little at that. Batman was never good in admitting that he wasn't above human feelings like pain and the ability to get hurt.  
"_Agent A will give him a sedative that'll slow down his heart rate, keeping him from loosing too much blood."_

Agent A shot the injection in Batman and a few seconds later he slumbered forward, unconscious. Agent A stood up, and Nightwing gently lifted his mentor.

"_We'll take him home and patch him up. Team, thank you for your assistance. Go back to Mount Justice. I don't know when I'll be back. League, thank you. Batgirl, please come with us."_

Batgirl jumped from the building and help Nightwing lay Batman unto the cars back seats. They then both entered the car and it drove off.

The team and the league remained, looking after them long after the car had disappeared.

"Batman have too much money." breathed Flash.

"And yet I believe he would give it all up if he could bring Robin back." said Wonder Woman, looking at Superman. "We'll have to talk this over with him. It has gone too far."

The Team shared a an exhausted look. That didn't sound good.

* * *

_Look at what I've become._

* * *

"Will he be alright?" asked Dick an hour later as Alfred closed the drapes to the infirmary in the batcave.

"The blood transfusion should do its work in a matter of hours young sir, bringing his heart rate back to normal. The wounds has been cleansed and closed." Alfred closed his eyes, opening them again and looking older than normal.

"Psysical, yes he is going to be all right master Richard. I am more worried as of how his mental condition will be."

Dick silently agreed. This was exactly why Bruce didn't let people into his life. He was terrified of loosing them.

"Where's Barbara?"  
"I believe miss Gordon has gone to Mount Justice. She figured you would be here, and thought that the Team might need an explation."  
Dick remained silent, but he smiled a small smile."She couldn't stand being here. I understand that."

Alfred didn't answer. There really wasn't anything to say.

Dick sank down on a chair, head in his hands.

"You think.. it'll be better to bury him before Bruce wakes up?"

Alfred looked at him.

"It would be better for everyone master Richard. But I'm afraid I have no control on these matters. Master Bruce was master Jasons legal guardian. Only he can authorize the funeral. And as for your team, do you think they should be invited too? To say goodbye?"

Dick felt his heart grow cold all over again. Oh god, his brother was dead! And the team.. and Bruce. All of them had lost a son, a brother, a friend, a teammate. They should be told, be invited. But, their identities. They couldn't jeopardize that. Not even now. But still..

"I.. I can't Alfred. I can't make these kinds of decisions." he whispered, head bowing forward, tears running down his face, his voice desperate. Alfred placed a hand on his young masters shoulder.

"You don't have to. When master Bruce wakes up, he'll take control of things. For better or worse."


	2. Decisions

_The pain in my heart fills my mind with thoughts of the enemy._

* * *

"So.. how's Batman?" asked M'gann after a few moments awkward silence.

Nightwing had returned to the Cave three days later. He seemed depressed, no surprise there. But okay. And they all knew that the reason he'd returned already was because of them.

"Alive. He was out of commission for a few days, but back in shape now."

"The wound?"

"Still there, but there's no way I'll convince him rest any longer." Nightwing answered, looking down at the cup of tea Cassie had placed in front of him.

"I'm sorry." he finally said, not looking up. They all sat in the kitchen. When Nightwing had zeta'd in, he'd called for a team meeting. They needed to talk this whole thing over. It was, after all, the first time the team lost a member. Not in direct battle, _thank god_, but still a member. Nightwing wouldn't had known what to do if a member of the team had been the one to pull Jason out of the collapsed building.

"What for honey?" asked Karen gently.

"For breaking down like that in front of you. I'm pretty sure that was what you needed at the moment and.. ouw!" he stopped, glaring at Batgirl who'd hit him over the head.

"That was a completely natural response! I was crying my eyes out! Don't you dare apologizing for being human." she scolded, folding her arms in front of her chest, glaring at him. The others nodded.

"Really Nightwing, you should know us better. I mean, this is pretty hard. And I guess it's hardest on you, since you knew Robin longer than us.." Connor began, trailing of when Nightwing gave him a small shake of his head.

"It's not hardest on me." he answered sadly. Batgirl leaned forward, worry replacing her brief anger.

"How is Batman, truly?" she hadn't been to the batcave since she'd helped Dick and Alfred bringing Batman back. She felt like she'd break some grief-rule if she went back.

"I'm not sure. Both agent A and I was pretty worried, but when he finally woke up he seemed almost.. normal. He asked what happened, we explained.. and that's pretty much all. He signed some papers, had the funeral next day and then went back to work." Nightwing took a deep breath.

"No mourning?" asked M'gann anxiously. She, being martian, knew how important grieving was. And how disastrous it could be not to.

"None. It's like he's pretending it didn't happen. He has.." Nightwing stopped, something in his throat stopping him. He drank the tea, waited a few minutes before continuing.

"Robins uniform.. the destroyed one, from the explosion. He's put it on display in a glass container, in the cave, in the middle.. where you can't avoid seeing it, being reminded by it..."

The team stared at Nightwing or shared disbelieving looks.

"THAT doesn't sound healthy." Jamie commented dryly. Nightwing looked sad and Jamie regretted his hasty sarcasm. The look Cassie and Garfield was giving him didn't help either.

"No. But I think that it is a part of his process, despite it being pretty creepy." Nightwing looked at Batgirl. "You know what grief does to him." her sad eyes was answer enough. She looked down. Connor looked at M'gann before leaning back, arms crossed, confusing written all over his face. "We don't know. What does it do?"

Nightwing didn't answer right away. He stared at the now empty tea mug in front of him.

"It changes him.."

* * *

_I can never allow this to happen again._

* * *

He looked at the grave in front of him. _29 years._

It's been almost 30 years since he lost his parents to crime, to the scum of the world.

The pain had finally begun to fade. It would never disappear. But it hadn't hurt so bad in the last few years.

Because of Robin. Or the Robins. They had helped him just as much as he helped them.

_Helped them.._

What of now? Now he wasn't sure anymore. Had it been worth it? Was it still worth it? A young life gone, because of him? Because of what he'd chosen to become many years ago.

He looked at the two names on the gravestone. _Thomas and Martha Wayne._

His beloved parents. The reasoning for his quest. They had deserved vengeance.

Next to the big gravestone stood a smaller one. _Jason Todd._

Had he deserved to get pulled into Batman's crusade?

_No._

Was it Bruce Wayne's fault?

_Maybe._

Was is Batman's fault?

_Yes._

Was it Jason own fault.

_No. Because I knew him. I should've known him. I should've known he'd follow me._

But he made a mistake, and Jason lost his life. The pain it had taker almost 30 years to bury had been brought back to life. Stronger than before. This time accompanied by regret, shame and guilt.

_And like last time, there's no going back._

He turned his back to the gravestones, walking back to the manor.

* * *

_Don't pity me._

* * *

"What's the official explanation for Robins death?" asked Cassie after a few moments of silence.

They had all wondered about it. They had all been pretty sure that they wouldn't be invited to the funeral, since they weren't allowed to know Batman and Nightwing's secret identities.

"It has been taken care of. You don't need to worry with the details." Batgirl had formed a story and leaked it to the media. There had been a few headlines, but the story had quickly died down again. Luckily.

".. okay." Cassie wasn't convinced. "Is it because of your identities?" she asked, looking at Nightwing and Batgirl. The two protegés of Batman shared a look.

"It is. I'm sorry." Batgirl answered.

"That's okay." Cassie shrugged, sinking down in her chair, looking quite depressed.

"Nightwing." Connor suddenly said, breaking the silence once again.

"Yeah?" his old teammate looked at him, waiting for the clone to continue.

"When.. when you and Batgirl left with Batman the other night, the Leaguers spoke together. Wonder Woman said 'It has gone too far' and that the league needed to talk with Batman. It sounded very serious but they wouldn't tell us anything further. They followed us back to the mountain, before heading back to the Watchtower."

Nightwing's frowned, not liking the sound of this new information.

"It's not secret amongst both the League and the Team, that Batman and the other funding members of the League have.. disagreed strongly on the matters of protégés. Batman does not see age as a hindrance in crime fighting. The League does. When I became Robin, at the age of 9, it almost excluded Batman from the League and almost cost him his crime fighting amnesty in Gotham. People thought he was disturbed, until they realized that he meant serious business. But it still took time before the League recognized us as a team and not just some twisted father-son relationship. Luckily nothing REALLY bad happened to me in those early years. If something had, I'm pretty sure the League would've tried to bring him to a court, facing charges of child neglect. "

Silence met him, as each member looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"Child neglect? What about me? I'm the youngest on the team!" Garfield sounded almost scared.

M'gaan gently padded his hand and Nightwing gave him a smile.  
"Don't worry BB. Even though you are the youngest, nobody from the 'real world' would know how to press charges against you. You are disguised at a animal most of the times and you look older because of, ah, all your hair? Not to mention, no one in Gotham seemed to have a problem with me being Robin after I turned ten so you are in the clear."

Garfield visible relaxed. M'gann continued looking worried.

"How old was Robin?"

"17." answered Batgirl quickly before Nightwing had any chance to.

"That means he was almost an adult. Not that makes it any less worse, but surely the League won't blame Batman for his actions? Batman had enough trouble as it was keeping you on track when you were fourteen and I never heard them talk about pulling you out of the game."

"They did." sounded a voice. The Team turned their head as Zatanna walked in, her face serious.

"They being who, and what did they do?" asked Jamie, a little startled by the fact that the magician had teleported into the cave without the zeta tubes. It would take some time getting used to _magic _of all things.

"The League. They discussed taking Robin of the team shortly before the League was put under mind control by Vandal Savage."

"But luckily they didn't. What's up Zee?" Nightwing stood up, a small smile on his face. Batgirl eyed him with worry in her eyes, as did the rest of the team. They'd never heard about this before.

"The League sent me. They summons all of you to the Watchtower."

Nightwing nodded, he'd had the feeling it was going to happen sooner or later. Sooner was now.

"Come on Team." they all stood up, following Nightwing to the Zeta Tubes

They all entered as Nightwing typed in the secret code for the Watchtower.

* * *

_Anger won't solve my problems._

* * *

The meeting was in progress and yet no one said anything. Most leaguers either stole side glances at eachother or focused on the table or was staring into space – literally.

The zeta tubes roared to life and announced the Team's presence, Nightwing and Zatanna in front of them.

"Welcome." Wonder Woman stood up. "Please, take a seat. We are glad you answered our call so quickly."

She indicated to the empty seats at the table which was defiantly an new instalment.

"Where's Batman?" Nightwing asked, not seeing his former mentor amongst the other leaguers.

"He didn't answer our call and we couldn't locate him. We will have to start and hope he turns up." answered Flash quickly, earning a look from Wonder Woman. The atmosphere was.. uncomfortable.

"Why have we been summond?" Nightwing asked again, although the flat tone of his voice told every one present that he knew exactly why they were here.

"We need to talk about what happened yesterday." Wonder Woman looked at Superman who didn't seem like he would pick up the word. "A member your team lost his life, in the care of Batman. We had our doubts 9 years ago, and now proves that we were right. Batman is not fit to have a protégé." She said it. The words no one else dared to say. But they all agreed, Nightwing could see it on their faces.

"What makes you say that? The fact that Robin died, _because he disobeyed_, or because you are scared of what'll happen now?" Nightwing answered coldly. He adored each member of the league, but they could be so narrow minded sometimes.

Superman cleared his throat. "We know this is hard for you Nightwing. Robin was also your partner, but that doesn't clear the fact that Batman left him to die."

"Because YOU called him away on League business! If the League hadn't called him away, then he would've captured the Joker before any of this happened!" Nightwing snapped, standing up.

He glared at them. The bat version.

"I may be young, I'm used to being young. You had this conversation when I teamed up the Batman all those years ago. What you never quite understood was that _I _chose to become Robin, not Batman. Something happened to me, like something had happened to Batman, and because of that I chose to become Robin. Even if Batman hadn't taken me in, I would've continued, most likely ending up dead. And the same thing goes for Jason!"

The Team and the League stared at Nightwing with their eyes wide. Batgirl stood up.

"Nightwing, your identities.." she began, but was cut off.

"Screw the secrets! They use them to make Batman sound like there is something wrong with him! Jason, Robin, died but not because of Batman. Don't you dare say it's his fault!"

"Nightwing, please calm down.." pleaded Wonder Woman, and Nightwing sank down in his chair, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I agree with Nightwing." said Batgirl, sitting down beside her comrade.

"Batman may have issues and he may not be handling them very well sometimes. But this, it was Robins own fault." her voice failed her. It hurt to say it, with the wounds still open.

"It is unfair of you to blame Batman."

"We don't blame him." said Balck Canary gently, her eyes soft.

"It's important that you understand this. The situation this time is different. Nightwing, when you started out as Robin, you did by yourself. You would've continued even if you hadn't teamed up with Batman, like you said so yourself. However, this time _is_ different. Batman _asked_ Robin to work with him, to become the new Robin. He dragged him into this world, and failed to protect him. That's what we are concerned about."

Nightwing remained silent, while the Team exchanged worried looks. They knew what the League said was true, and the obvious worry in their eyes made it difficult to argue against.

"We need to determine if Batman is qualified to remain a member of the league. And for that, we need your help." Superman said, finally breaking the ice.

* * *

_The city called him back._

* * *

The city was quiet. With the Joker safely locked up in Arkham once again Gotham seemed to breath a little easier, a little safer.

And yet. Faint screams, sounds of gunshots, cars chasing, alarms going off.. Gotham was the city where crime never slept. How did he fool himself into thinking that the city didn't require as much attention as it used to? When did he begin to think that it had gotten safer? That it had gotten better?

Because it hadn't. It was still a rotten place, filled with corrupt people, criminals, weak men too scared and tired to fight back the evil. And he had let it happen. He had failed Gotham, for the sake of the world.

The world had other heroes, it did not require his presence. Gotham, however, did. He was born out of Gotham's pain, only he understood what the city truly needed.

It didn't need the Justice League. It needed only him, he had proven that before. He _alone _could turn the city around.

Gotham needed him. Gotham needed Batman.

Gotham was a city without light. He had allowed the scum of Gotham to consume it, _kill it_. And now all that remained was the dark knight.

He turned, and walked away. He needed to make a phone call.

* * *

_I regret many things._

_But you'll never be one of them._

* * *

"_Batman to Watchtower."_

The League and Team fell quiet when the large computer screen at the end of the table flared to life.

"Watchertower here." said Superman, standing up. The videofeed turned up, showing the dark knight.

"Batman, where are you? We've summoned you to a meeting here but with no response. You are required to be here, we need to discuss this."

"_There is nothing to discuss._"

Nightwing and Batgirl exchanged looks. Something was different. He sounded wrong.

"It is not up for debate Batman. You are a member of the Justice League and acting leader, and when we call for a meeting to discuss something serious, you can't just.."

"_I resign_." stated Batman simply.

Superman stared at him, eyes wide, his own words forgotten. A shocked silence echoed through the room. Flash had even jumped to his feet.

"What? Sorry bats, there must be something with the connection. It sounded like you said 'I resign'?" he half laughed. Only it was no joke.

"_I did. I resign as of now as acting leader of the Justice League and as a member. The subject is not up for debate._"

Flash looked shocked, so shocked that he for once were at a loss for words.

Wonder Woman stood up.  
"Batman, if this is a reaction to what has transpired, I beg of you to consider this decision."

"_There's nothing to consider Wonder Woman. It is the only thing I can do._"

"If it is about the topics for this meeting, please Batman come to the Watchtomer and we'll sort it out. You are a highly valued member of this League. You can't quit!"

Batman narrowed his eyes. "_Don't tell me what to do._" he hissed, and the temperature seemed to drop several degrees.

"_The last time I did what you asked of me, resulted in a death. The Justice League may protect the world. But it does not need me to complete that task. I am needed in Gotham and that is where I'll be. The League has caused me to lose focus on my city, and it suffers for it._"

He leaned back, the shadows of what they assumed was the batcave, hiding him.

"_I am cutting of the zeta platforms in Gotham from the network. None of you, except Nightwing and Batgirl, are allowed to enter Gotham. You are not welcome._"

A window showing transaction numbers turned up on the screen. "_I will continue on founding the League. But I will no longer supply you with tech or any other measures._"

It began to dawn for the leaguers, that he meant every word he said. None of them knew what to say.

Nightwing stood up, walking up in front of the screen. His face betrayed none of his emotions.

_You make Bruce very proud Dick. _Batgirl watched with unease and respect.

"What of the zeta platform in Blüdhaven? Have you also deactivated that one?" asked Nightwing, not liking the idea of not being able to reach his town within a few seconds.

"_No. That one is still operational._" Nightwing felt a pang of relief. All hope was not lost.

"There's no way we'll get you to change your mind, is there?"

"_No."_

Nightwing stood with his back to the League. It was only him and Batman now. He looked into the bright white eyes of the cowl. He knew the eyes behind the mask was angry. His former mentor blamed the League for what had happened with Robin. And yet, this was more than that.

"Why?" Nightwing simply asked. He needed to know, he needed to understand Batman reasoning.

Batman didn't answer right away. He observed the former Robin, knowing very well what'd brought on this question.

"_Gotham is getting worse. The city needs my undivided attention. I can not give it that as long as I remain a member of the League. Batman exists for the sake Gotham. If Gotham needs me all the time, then I'll be there all the time."_

"What about.. work?" Nightwing strained the last word, earning a disapproving glare from Batman.

_Never discuss 'real life' issues in front of others!_

"_The money will be there. That's all you need to know."_

"That's it!" Superman sounded angry. "I am coming down. Batman, you need to listen to reason, your god damn.." Superman shut his mouth with shock when Batman withdrew a rock, _a green glowing rock, _from his cape and laying it in front of him.  
"_I _will_ use this._ _I mean it when I say none of you are welcome." _Batman stood up, body covered by his cape and the shadows. "_Batgirl, I'll rendezvous with you at point 5.8 at 0100 hours." _Batgirl lifted an turned his black stare at the other funding members. "_Learn to handle __yourself. If you'd learned that sooner I may not have yet another grave in front of my home._"The screen went black.

The shocked silence was all that remained.

* * *

_I am what Gotham needs me to be._

* * *

Batgirl had zeta'd to Blüdhaven together with Nightwing, and had then made her way to Gotham on her spare batcycle (she briefly wondered how Batman knew she'd parked at Nightwings. But then again, he was Batman).

She reached point 5.8.

Crime alley.

Batman was already there, waiting for her. She jumped of the batcycle and walked up to her mentor.

"Congratulations. I think you managed to break the entire league with a few words." she said, pausing beside him. He didn't move.

"What they think of me is no concern."

"Yeah yeah, I know, Gotham is all that matters." she signed. "But it was rather unfair to Dick and me."  
"You two are the only ones I trust enough to let into this city." he stated in his monotone voice.

"You trust no one."

He shot her a look. She bowed her head.

"Sorry." she apologized. She overlooked the city from their standpoint.

"How'll I get to Mount Justice without the Zeta Tube? And what of Artemis?"

"Artemis has moved to Palo Alto last week. And since she's retired she shouldn't be needing one."

"And what of me?"

"The Zeta Tubes are still functional, however only for us three." Batgirl nodded.  
"I figured. Why didn't you tell me that before I went on an hour roadtrip from Blüdhaven?"

"I needed you to bring the cycle back." Batman turned his back to her and began to walk away.

"It is time to upgrade our operation."

Batgirl smiled, as she walked besides her mentor.

"Tell me, _Bruce, _do you ever regret letting Dick become Robin and later Nightwing?"

Batman didn't answer right away. He stopped, overlooking the Gotham skyline.  
"No. Of the many things I've done that I regret, Dick will never be one of them." he shot out his grabbing hook and disappeared into the night.

Batgirl smiled. They were going to be okay. She lifted her hand and touched the com-link in her ear.

"Did you get that?"

"_Every word."_

* * *

_I am always prepared to do what Gotham needs me to do._

_Even if it means going against those I could consider friends._

* * *

Nightwing lowered his hand, silently wiping the tears from his face. The skyline of Blüdhaven was glowing red as the full moon began to rise. He stood up, overlooking his charge. His city.

"Every word Babs. Every word."

He smiled a sad smile. They were going to be fine. In time, they would be fine.

_The one-shot turned into a two-shot. Oh well, guess that's what happens sometimes.  
It is not easy to be Batman.  
This chapter is loosely based on Justice League Doom. The idea of Batman quitting the league, I just love it. I love the drama, the disbelief, the anger.  
I have an idea for a longer story that I'll begin to work on soon. I do however not know when it'll be ready to get posted._


End file.
